11.50pm ~271108~the truth...

the truth why all this while i have been writing all the happy stuff in this blog is bcoz i dun wana rmmbr all the sad stuff that has happened to me...

it hurts..
so bad that i wana erase it..
mybe i shud write it down ..
so that i won't repeat my mistakes..
don't wana remind myself of the pain i suffered..
well,mybe listing down some wud help me go further better n not go helping ppl hu dun want my help..
i knw i'm not talking straight to the point..
ok2..here goes..

1.Mastura's problem (short version..dont even wana rmmbr d long version.pls!!writing this synopsis oso i am suffering lyk hell)

ok here goes nothing...i don't care what ppl say anymore especially u MAs..i've suffered enuv because of friends..
i have tried all my might to help her but she would just not listen to me...
she thinks i am blocking her way in what she want in her life.
having frens or outsiders is not that great,instead it's time wasting..
maybe as a fren or business colleagues thn it's another story but having a bf n let 'them' touch you is a big problem...
n i dun agree wit tht...n Mas thinks it's ok..
i dunno bout it..mybe it's in her blood or family or somthing.
i don't wana touch on that but she hurt me alot..
i've always told her to let out wat she feels..
let out wat u think,u hate ,u cry for..
i askd her to let her anger out on me if she feels lyk it..
but she did not..
instead,she wud keep it to herself n explode wenever she cn't take it anymore..
i knw i am selfish..
i talk as if i'm perfect but i say things with reason..
i don't simply say stuff..
ppl think i talk because i wana show how good i am but that is not true..
i talk n tell my friends not to do this or that because i cherish them..
i have none other but them besides HIM n my family n of ocz my pet..haha..
so bck to the story..
Mas made a mistake which will always remind me not to help her anymore..
whether she needs it or not..i'm not gona help her..
u knw y?because she herself pushed me away..instead pushed both of us me n k.lina away..
outsiders are more important to her..
i don't know wat the hell is she thinking,mybe bcoz of pressure or wateva shit she goes tru but..
1 thing that will always be playing in my mind are her words
~'Jgn ganggu hidup aku ble x?'
~Mase aku ssh kat Kdh kau mn?Ade kau tlg aku?

OMG Mas!!i'm simply speechless when she said that,i was sad to hear she said tht..don't knw wat the hell were she thinking...she was so far away in kdh n i was in KL n K.Lina was in KUantan...what do u expect MAs??!!!!

n the only thing i am proud of saying to her was
~aku sayang kan kau mas sbb tu aku sll tegur kau.
~Ms kau kn bantai ms Man tu,kwn kau de ke ms tu?

tht were the proud words tht i really rmmbr til this day..
i just don't want this to happen to me again..
so nex tym,unless she is in trouble in an accident or i c her fall down in some damn road or somthing thn only i will help her..but if involving silly probs i wud not even put my nose in it or even peak at her stuff..
as her quote goes ..n i hold wat she said to me 'JGn ganggu idup aku ble x?'

BUT,whatever i said here..in my heart i will let this go..because i believe i still love her as my sedara no matter what..it's just sad what she wud do to push us away from her..Sigh!how life goes hard on u..even ur flesh n blood do this to u..nvm i take this as my motivation to be more careful in life n i thank GOD 4 it!(^__^)

2.love life

i hv nvr been in a relationship b4 in life n i believe there is a reason 4 that..
i trust GOD 4 that..
i hv feelings 4 the opposite sex n i like that feeling..
it's pure n refreshing..
but if i don't ever get in one ever..i don't mind either..
some ppl might think i'm overreacting but i just say what i feel,straight from the heart..
if someone comes into my life,it's ok n i would love to be with him but if..
if it doesn't happen thn it's fine by me..
u knw y?
because i'm gonna try to be a successful person..
Hopefully it turns out fine in fututre..
after graduating i hv plans n i need to settle thm tru my years growing into an adult..
i hv responsibles to keep..n i intend to fulfill it..
i don't say things i don't think i cn achieve..
i believe i cn achieve it because i hv GOD with me..ALWAYS!
n i am not afraid to step 4ward to achieve those plans..
so!if i don't get to b in love with anyone..
i am still happy..
in Islam, GOD's love is everlasting n the purest of all human love ..
(memorise that!!!!)


i think so far the stuff above are what i think the most lately...
besides minor financial probs in family n minor probs wit silly uni friends,hu don't listen to what i say regarding asgmnts..thn it's just d above which are up there..hahahaha...2 major probs so far..haha..

O yea!,my finals is oso a burden nw but it's just temporary stress..once it's over thn i'm gonna b fine..
i just finished a killer paper just nw afternoon 'Teaching of English Grammar'..whoah!so damn tiring sitting at the small chair with the small mini table..OMG!i was just sufferring sitting there..hahaa..but luckily i can do the paper evntho' i 'goreng' most of it..hahah

but hey..if i 'goreng' well ,then it's a good chance i cn get an A in that subject..haha...ok then ..i think i wana end this post here..

nite2..n bubu...oishh!!good nite i said!!


i'm out!~