Saturday, 31 October 2009

Childhood!

I just rmmbrd this!

I grew up knowing that i was not fond of kids.hahah...

BUt gradually ,somehow i felt some inner part of me has this heart for kids!How i learnt to adore them.I learnt by looking at my mom as how she loves me and her grandchildren.I also learnt to love kids by observing my nieces and nephews as they grow up day by day.I'm not always with them but their story will nvr bore me from listening to their updates.Either news on their school days,new toys,fights or new hair cuts etc.I love hearing from them.

As before,i was not fond of any kids but now i'm beginning to feel the motherly sense but it's abit gloomy for me as i cn't really scold or teach or love my own 'daughters' and 'sons' because of their parents.Well,i guess i have to wait for my own.Perhaps~=P

EMak has always reminded me.Don't care too much on their children because when you hv your own children your children might turn out as what you scolded 'them' for.

I scold 'them' because I care.I'm their aunt for GOD sake!'Well,their parents are not liking it so might as well you drop it,'Emak added.

I think what Emak advised me is right.I may scold my 'children' because i care but you will nvr knw how your real child might turn out soon.

There's always a believe that if you talk bad or scold a kid because you hate them ,soon your child will turn out as that kid that you hated.If you don't want your child to become houligans or bad person,please don't speak on bad stuff about other ppl's children as you nvr know how yours will turn out to be soon!

It's sounds like Karma doesn't it?hahah...


Some ppl may call this as a myth but trust me,this has happened and i experienced it myself in my family.You really don't want to start a problem on it!Your future might be darker then the black clouds that are seen merely b4 it rains ..hahah...

It's a pity i can't pamper my own nieces and nephews.I've always imagined to bring all of them on shopping sprees,catch movies together when they are abit more older soon and come to think of it....I don't think it will happen.YOu know why?Their parents are the reason.

Well,it's ok.Who am i to take them anywhere,huh?I'm just another ordinary aunt who only knew to love them now but their parents only sees it as if i beat them because i hate their children or because i 'choose sides'(like i give a shit on which sides??i only corrent who is wrong).......hmm..I think i'll just leave it be as it is!NO point talking more on it!Tsk tsk tsk!

*Public confession!*

I LOVE my 'KIDS'!Auntie Reena will always be on the look out for you,kids!~

Friday, 30 October 2009

the need to whine!

This week is hectic i tell ya!

Damn hectic!All work=presentations,asmngts and all the frequent things a student has to fulfill in order to get high marks!

Sigh!Sometimes it's hard to satisfy 'certain' ppl!Especially lecturers and because of tht we become 'sick'!

I hope we finish everything by next week so tht after tht we're be as free as a bird flying free into the sky.

I slept at 6am this morning just to re-do this 1 lesson plan(Lp) called Eng. for Specific Purposes which is for the adult english leaners!Thn,again discuss with group members from morning til afternoon on msn n ym which is also very tiring as i slept at 6am and woke up at 9am!(some of you might say 'ah!she's whining too much and what's she telling is really common to be practiced by a student in such situation as tht...'...Well,i guess i'm not used to it!so deal with it!hahaha...Naa!i just think it's a heavy semester...it's the 1st time for us or me to take up 4 teaching courses at 1 go..shish!Thnks to yati,our HOP )

I really hope our lecturer for ESP do not give bad comments again and approve on our Lp.Next,I hope the MCQ asmngt can be done by this week.Then,I hope we finish reading n ESp micro-teaching by this week as well and I hope this tuesday's 'Teaching of Reading ' test comes tru really well for me soon.So much to do,consider and think about!

OKay3!

Reena,take one step at a time!Finish what u can for today and think of tmrw as tmrw!

Yea!!YES,I CAN!!!!!Thank you GOD!~<3

Need some play time.all work is no fun!Boo HOo!

Saturday, 24 October 2009

where are you?

Should i msg?Should i call?
Where are you?
You're not online....
Missing someone hurts so badly!


I found this in FB.I would like to share with you.Well,so far the most obvious thing i noticed that's happening to me is no 3!Check this out!

*click it to view it in large!

='( >> (-__-)' >> (T_T) >> (^__^)

MOod:OKay!not that sad i pressume...

I don't want to hold grudge onto anyone and i think i have forgiven them BUT i don't think i can forget what they did in this short term of period.What they did to my Abah, Emak ,my brother (the grudge they hold against him) and me.

I talked told D about this and he asked me to just give in.He said my 2nd bro (so much for a bro huh?) is stuck between marriage life n his own real family.He will always be on his wife's side because he is married.Sigh!

I just hope i won't be like them if and when i get married soon.I DON'T WANT TO GO AGAINST MY OWN BLOOD AND IF MY HUSBAND TEND TO CRITIC MY FAMILY I WILL ASK Y SO AND TALK IT OUT RATIONALLY WITH MY MOM IF IT IS HER FAULT BUT IF IT'S MY HUSBAND'S FAULT THN I'LL TALK SMOOTHLY WITH HIM.

Then again, i know it's easier to tell then do it ,right?I think i can with GOD's will,I know i can.GOD has given us the brains and the way to think rationally unlike wat that 'ungrateful person ' did.

I may not talk to him or his so called family for quite some time tho'.Well,it depends.Things between me and him will never be the same again.Meaning if he strts to come to my house again,i won't be entertaining their shits again.If i met them in the house,salam pastu msk bilik ~

If i ever pass by them in a shopping mall or something.probably i'll just ignore..hahhaha....

Hey,he told me not to 'masuk cmpur with his 'thing' with my third bro...' and so i won't .

I'll do the same as what i did to MAs until they feel like they want to die feeling sorry for what they have done.Well,if they do have feelings in their so called heart!hahahhah...

U might ask what i'll do to make them feel sorry right?I won't do anything.I'll just practice silent treatment.Just be myself but the diff is that i am very quiet when they are around of cos.

FOr instance,you make joke i smile.U want to strt talking i'll walk away.hahahha....

Besides,it's not i who BAGI MAKAN ANAK DIA right?Well,come to think of it he has no right to yell or scold me on the phone the other day too because he too XBAGI MAKAN but instead my ABAH DID u 'ungrateful person'!!(meaning he doesn't feed me so he has no right to yell at me,that's what he scolded me,i have no right to scold or taouch his sons because i'm not the one who feeds them but it's vice versa.Who is he to scold me til i wasted my tears for him??He didn't feed me..hahhaha...)

I'm just mad for what he has said and done.I don't want to keep it in myself ,what i feel now i typed it out here so that i won't feel the pain.I want to let it out.Holding grudges make your heart turns black and it spoils yourself.I wonder how this 'ungrateful person' and his so called family can live with years of grudges in them.I want to feel sorry for them BUt i can't.As i've told you,I was taught not to feel sorry for any man,it's his fate!

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

='(

Who would have thought that marriage can change the being of good relationships between siblings?Pftt!

"PAHAM X?PAHAM X? *hung up on me*..the line went dead.The person who called me never in my life yelled at me but today he did.He was so angry.

I have no respect towards him anymore.He is the 2nd person whom i love after mas that broke my heart into pieces!This is not drama.I don't want to be exaggerating over this but i just feel so sad when he would go against his own blood because of his so called marriage!

You hv lost your sister dear ungrateful person!

How far can u go without my parents?How far can u go without your siblings?How far can you go with your so called 'other family'?

I'm just shocked as he had nvr yelled at me b4 but today he did because he was blinded by the 1 person tht will always seem innocent in ppl's eyes.Beware of such person...

Let me tell you something.You can be hypocrite but if you be hypocrite and make ppl go against 1 another is 1 of the biggest sin of all.Especially if that person u go against is YOUR OWN MOTHER!

I don't know how it will be after this but not having them coming to my house for awhile will be as if our shoulder are lightened .

What i feel now are all mixed up because when I feel sad i also feel sorry for him because tht is his path for i hope tht he would live a great life but instead he is given that path.Well,I hv always been taught by GOD that i must not be sorry for any man as that is his path and that is his fate.GOD knows what HE is doing and everything happens for a reason.


I hv been hurt by my own blood once.Another round of it will make me go stronger and even more.Thank you GOD!I pray for your blessings and i know YOU will be with me every step of the way.(even if i have to go through life without my siblings)

What a sad2 day it happens to be,huh?sigh!Nvm..everything will be alright~

*Smile REena!You'll be alrgiht!~*

Saturday, 17 October 2009

Things We learnt in Uni.... not in class though..

**These was posted by Timothy Raj in FB.He wrote it i bet.Almost everything are true and it happened to me too.**

Just for laughs. Although some might be true.. huhu!

1. every cent counts.
2. Asleep by 2 a.m. is too early!
3. Make sure alarm clocks have extra batteries..
4. SLEEP is the most important activity of the day!...
5. MAGGI tastes so good actually...
6. MAGGI for lunch? dinner? hmmm... i ll have indo-mee...
7. You never realized so many people are smarter than you....
8. You never realized so many people are dumber than you....
9. Lecturers are like celebrities - U see them but tey cant see u...
10. Ten-page assignments were eye-openers,almost impossible........ now?, only TEN?!
11. Learn to love your roommate, especially when he/she leaves you the room....
12. College girls are the same as high school girls - just with more freedom...
13. Printers only break down when you desperately need them...
14. The Cyber cafes' are packed with your classmates printing the same thing....
15. Things that were a huge deal in high school are now common...
16. You never thought you would share so much about yourself with people you have known for such a short time...
17. Computer games go in and out faster than the latest fashions.. .
18. Any game can be made into a drinking game...
19. People still cheat; it's just more technologically advanced.....
20. Never thought you would be visiting the ATMs alot after PTPTN.....
21. You get really good with excuses for skipping class....
22. You don't have to cover your textbooks with plastic anymore
.. yeehaa!...
23. People that were geeks in high school seem okay now....
24. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires....
25. Going to the mini-mart is a major treat....
26. You have two kinds of shoes: everyday shoes and party shoes....
27. Classes: the later the better....
28. The longer you're there, the less you talk about home.....
29. Boys will dance in college....
30. People who never talked to you in high school are now your best friends when you come home....
31. It's amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of five seconds. ....
32. You begin to subdivide your room into sections such as bed-place, library, etc. to make it sound like a house......
33. Dishes aren't dirty enough to wash until they have bugs in them....
34. You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them....
35. Life will never be the same again... forever..

Thursday, 15 October 2009

to kill time of boredom!

Be honest, first and last name of the last person to text you.
lynna zamri

When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
errr...like ages ago!

What was the name of the last member of the opposite sex who hugged you?
zul...hahhaha...

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn't?
i did but i've told tht person ady..(^__^)\/

What is on your hands right now?
this laptop

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty/awesome eyes?
pretty eyes...yes but i doubt tht it's true!

Would you rather have big or small dogs?
both

Are your parents protective over you?
VERY!

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
sometimes but i would prefer to express it!

Do you feel like life will be easier when you're older, or harder?
harder of cos!but live life to the fullest so u won't feel the hardship~

Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions?
yeah if the one questioning me is someone close..

Will tomorrow be a good day?
it should be~

Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
naa...

Who was the first person you talked to today?
my roomate in hostel..

What might you be doing in an hour?
err..harvesting in farmville i guess..heheh!

Who did you sit next to the last time you went to the movie theater?
err...last movie was....hmmm??i think it was Final Destination 4..i sat beside K.lina~

Who was the last person that wasn't family to give you a ride somewhere?
define ride~if near by uni it's sarah (went to lunch),if long distance it's AJoe (ride to Kuantan)

Do you like to call or text more?
txt more..

What holiday is your birthday closest to?
err...awal muharram?hahhaah....can't recall!school holidays as well i guess...huhu..

What happened at 10:00 am today?
i was in class!Listening to a lecturer lecture..

Have you argued with anyone today?
nope!

Where was your profile picture taken?
blog site(in my room,previous house),FB (Petrosains,KLCC)

What should you be doing right now?
sleep cos i've just reached from KL an di shud rest..

How many tattoos do you have?
None..

When was the last time you watched a horror movie?
last few months..can't rmmbr..

Do you have any drugs in your bedroom?
panadol?yea i do!huhu..

What is something that can easily kill your mood?
quarelling..

Did you have any unread messages when you woke up today?
nope

Do you take walks often?
in uni..i walk to class everyday but walking for myself nope!

Have you ever had a stalker?
naa...

Do you like your cell phone? Or do you wish you had a new one?
i'm beginning to feel irritated by my 2nd hp...the keypad is strting to make probs..feeling like chnging it to a new hp..

Does anyone disgust you?
some...as long as they don't come my way thn i'm fine with it!

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
yea,to open his eyes!

If your mom worked at hooters, what would you do?
i would question her !

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
went to bed early ,exhausted!

What are you wearing?
t-shirt n pants..

Last thing you drank?
2 iced coffee n water..

Last song you heard?
pom pom by missy elliot

Can you get over people easily?
if they hurt me thn it may take awhile but if they just irritate me or something thn it's nothing to be thought of..

Did you hug someone today?
nope!


What's one thing you'll never be seen without?
clothes...hahhahahahaha....

Do you drop your phone a lot?
sometimes..careless!

Are you a simple or complicated person?
complicated at times when emotion involves!

Do you like getting big hugs?
I DO!I like to be pampered!

What made you happy today?
tht i hv great group mmbers in uni!huhu..

What is your favorite kind of weather?
err...sunny and rainy..heheh!it doesn't snow in MAlaysia!

Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to at all anymore?
er...let me write this out...there is someone i used to talk everyday and i did not talk with her for quite some time but we did talk lately(just recently)...

Are you usually a happy person?
yes but sometimes emo..

Do you like meeting new people?
not really..cos i hv to act nice n all which brings me into my hypocrite side...u hv to act all good n stuff...(hate it!)

What are you craving?
egg tarts!heheh!

What do you like most about the person you have feelings for?
his mom..hahha...and all about him...

What were you doing two hours ago?
went to KOpitiam with parents..

What would you do right now if you could?
no idea!go out mybe..

How long have you had feelings for the person you are interested in?
about 8-10 months if i'm not mistaken..nvr expected it!

What do you wish you had more time to do?
asgmnts...i wish i cud finish the proposal NOW!

What do you wish you had more money to do?
for my parents expanses

What is your favorite season?
winter!



SAY EXACTLY WHATS ON YOUR MIND & DON'T CHANGE IT.

1. You & your ex
> ??nvr been in a relationship
2. What are you listening to
> air cond sound
3. Maybe I should
> sleep
4. I love
> iced coffe NOW!
5. I don't understand
> why most men look at appearance thn the true colours of a woman!?
6. I have lost my respect for
> certain ppl in my class!
7. I last ate
> roti bakar n pulot ayam~

IS YOUR/ARE YOU:

1. Is your hair wet?
> nope
2. Is your cell phone right by you?
> yea..
3. Do you miss someone?
> YES!
4. Are you wearing chap stick?
> huh?
5. Are you tired?
> yea..
6. Are you wearing pajamas?
> no
7. Are you mad?
>naa...

MORE QUESTIONS

Are you shy?
>usually yea..

Could things get any better?
> it must be..

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
> naa..i slept like a baby!

Has there been anyone particular on your mind at all today?
> YUP!lots..

Do you ever crack your knuckles/ back/ ankles/ wrists/ etc
> hvn't almost crack my head but proven tht my head is harder thn the car screen..heheh!

Could you date someone taller than you?
> yea..cos i'm tall so taller bf should be nice..

Do you need to say anything to someone?
> yea..but would it do any good?hmmm..

Honestly, does your crush like you back?
>i hope so..

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
> i dunno

Do you wear glasses?
> just during class..tu pn jrg..

Lyrics from the song you're listening to?
> no song playing now..

Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today?
> i've been out since morning til night...hahhaha...hours...

Honestly, what's running through your mind?
> D...sigh!

Have you ever asked a girl for advice?
> yes!

Ever kissed under water?
> hmm...nvr..but i wana try..hahah...

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
> last few weeks..

How late did you stay up last night?
> 11pm only...was very tired...

Do you think boys truly understand girls?
> hahahaha.. nope!

What is one word you seem to always misspell that you know you shouldn't?
>tomorrow,disappointing

What was the last movie you watched?
> FD

Last song played more than three times?
> Assubhuhubada

Last person to fall asleep with?
> err...no one..

Ever skip class?
>yup!heheh!

What color is your room?
> beige..

Who'd you have lunch with?
> alone..

Have you ever kissed someone you weren't dating?
> naaa...

Are you ticklish?
> abit..huhu..

Does your ex have a job?
> no ex..

How many piercings do you have?
> 5..

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
> yup!

Do you want any tattoos?
>yea..but can't

Will you cry at your wedding?
> no ..mybe..

Are you wearing any clothes that don’t belong to you?
> no,lately

What are your plans for the weekend?
> attend wedding ceremony and go for a movie....

You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?
>right eye brow

Do you have a little sister?
> nope..the only daughter..

Do you like Taylor Swift?
> not really but i listen to her songs sometimes

Last time you were heart broken?
> few years back..

Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
> close pls..

Have you ever dated a soccer player?
> no!

Do you hope your children are like you one day?
> haha..no idea!

Do you take walks often?
> naa...

Needles aren't so horrible?
> nope...

Do you like meeting new people?
> not really

Would you rather have long or short hair?
> long

Favorite book that was made into a movie?
> twilight

Do you like tattoos and piercings?
> yup i do but can't do tattoo tho'...

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

jealous of izan!

I am so jealous of izan when i saw her pics with her parents during her graduation day to receive her Diploma on the 10th Oct if i'm not mistaken.

I thought to myself ,'Will my brothers be there when i grad?'

Tears started to fall.I wonder why.....Izan's whole family was there.Hmmm...

I wish it will happened to me too .Soon enough.I want everyone to be there.Each and everyone in my family.It is a special day.

Izan's pic with her parents is sweet.I loved it!


hmmm...

Today was hectic .I had 2 group presentations .I have to tell u that having great group members sometimes can make you become lazy.Wana know y?

Okay,firstly i have admit that all of my group members are great.Most of them are perfectionist and i respect that.Well,they tend to take all the work and that makes me feel guilty most of the time.I like doing work with ppl who actually do it.They often take the whole work load and will only sometimes divide the work.Don't get me wrong.I'm not complaining on anything but i just feel guilty of not doing much and contribute as part of the group.Well,i understand that they want all asgmnts to be good and appropriate but that turned me into a very lazy person day by day .It's because i don't hv much work to do and i lack the knowledge in doing those asgmnts.Sometimes i worry,if i will face any probs in doing that type of lesson plan in future later.Sigh!I hope not!

Just this afternoon ,i was supposed to handle a presentation but it didn't go as smooth as i thought but i did find most of the info in that presentation .What happened was...They edited the work and also presented it.I wish i did presented and showed that i could but they (my group mmbers) did better and i'm happy on their behalf because they sort of do it for me and other members that weren't ready at that moment for the presentation.I felt so useless.I was so used to be the leader of a group but when i entered this group ,i tend to follow more then lead.Maybe there are pros and cons to it.Well,everything have pros and cons to it.What doesn't ,right?huhu...

What i'm trying to say here is that I just won't hv enough thank yous to thank them later.They are like...almost want to do everything and i hv always asked if they are ok ,if i could do anything to help..but the reply is always that they are ok and they can manage.I feel so challenged and useless.I feel as if i am not trusted in doing any work.

Don't get me wrong.I just hate not doing any work.People would say tht it's better to let your group members do all the work if they don't want to divide the work because you can sit and relax but not to me.In my perception,sitting and doing nothing means you're a fool because you won't learn anything if you don't practice the work or asmngts assigned to you.You see?!I learn better when i do the hands on!

In this situation ,i hv to ask more because i'm not doing the work so i hv to ask the ones who did the asmngts in my group.I'm sorry if you think i'm talking about u .I'm not mad of you.I just feel guilty.Sorry if i can't do much in the group.Don't leave me out from the work.EVer ,ok!

THANKS ALOT!I APPRECIATE IT ALOT!(^___^)

*This post is specially dedicated to my 3 main groupmates for TESL 7A/2009/2010!

Sunday, 11 October 2009

it's not goodbye!

Pak cik Dollah ,father to Hanapiah left us this morning around 5.30am.I managed to go and pay my last respect before i departed to KL by bus at 10.30am.Well,i don't know Pak cik Dollah tht well but he was my sedara.I know his son Hanapiah and i feel his grief.I didn't dare to talk to Hanapiah.I hope he will be fine as his father left to make his way to the best.SYukur~

~~~

I told D bout the lost.Not much respond from him just 'Ty' in reply maybe because he was busy.He went and did catering for today for extra cash i guess.

Later this evening ,he said he was exhausted and has a headache.He said the day was too hot today.He wanted to go n sleep.I replied to him saying 'hahah..k r..xmau kaco r..'

~~~

Friday, 9 October 2009

<3

I confessed!

Aku t'suka kau!

heheh!

I feel so relieved!!

....7th Oct 2009 at 11pm++....

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

DPC=Desa Parkcity

It is 1.25am as i am typing this.Just this afternoon around 5pm my friends and I went to DPC a place some where in Kepong,Selangor.It's beautiful housing area.It's hard to describe but the it is sort of a private home area.All the houses there are very nice and high class.The surrounding is full of beautiful landscape with ponds of Koi fishes,jogging area where u can walk and run your dogs along as u jog.A main spot in the middle where u can go to the clinic,pet shop,fast food restaurant n etc all in that area.They are building a private school and hospital soon .Everything there are also completed with lots of different housing division secured with guards in each division.For exmple,division 1 is 'Nadia' (the area name),then there will be a guard n same goes to the other divisions of houses.You hv to go there n c the real thing.

It's very odd to c that heaven like place in the middle of Kepong where it is well known for the gangsters stories.All the houses there are super ordinary but in DPC it surely proven me wrong tht in the middle of the city a man could relax n sit back after long hours of work.The place is very peaceful and it is very suitable for ppl who needs alone time or recreational moments with family or their pets.

I went there because my friends maureen n her bf ,Aaron suggested to me,divya and wendy.So we just tag along n went there to c with our own eyes how heaven like the place is....THey were right ...the place really made my jaw dropped so big tht i hv to take pics in other to make sure i wasn't dreaming.The place is sort of a dream to me too.Lawa laa....

The facilities there are like house area with a condominium style...hahhahah...I hope u get me.In condominium ,we hv gyms,swimming ,spa,shops n etc...the diff with DPC there are separated home division and all facilities tht i've mentioned is at the centre point of the housing area.

All houses there are nice n well design.hmmm..so nice...it was tiring today n i tot i cud do some work after i get bck from there but i think i am exhausted now.I can't really open my eyes now but if i don't type this post now i won't type it tmrw cos i'll be lazy then .Plus,i hv to finish up on the proposal tht i suppose to finish earlier..huhu..

Aaron n maureen advised & persuaded me to tell D n confess to him about my feelings but thn...i still don't hv the guts.D was like wanted to tell me something yesterday but he said it was about an application but he said 'bg aku ms la'...i really wonder...

Well,i didn't get the chance to chat with D today cos i was soo bz n went out as well too.If i call oso sure he'll be asleep cos tmrw working days.HMMM....maybe not the right timw yet.....

let's just c how....

Sunday, 4 October 2009

problems etc.

note:i wrote this last few months but i didn't had the guts to post it out.Now,the time is right i gues..huhu...


Warning:THIS IS A VERY LONG POST!


Everyone has problems. It’s just how it is whether it’s not really bad or it’s the worse that we have .People go tru it each day of their lifes .Some are stuck with it all their lifes thinking how to break free but they just can’t seem to unlock the lock that has no keys to it.

People keep secrets because they are worried if the person they care might worry for them or maybe misunderstood….or maybe they are embarrassed with what they have done.

Not everything we can tell to our friends or family members .No matter how hard we try it just won’t slip out from our mouth .How life sometimes can be very complicated, huh? haha…

People will die when ever their time comes. Imagine the person you like dies tomorrow and you wouldn’t have the chance to tell him or her that you like them….What would you do ?How would you react if he or she did die tomorrow?Would you regret not telling them that you like them?Would you?i would but never had the guts to tell a guy tht I like him ever since the last person I tend to like sorta dumped me.

Sigh!

I can’t seem to get the words out when I wanna tell someone I like that I really do like him.I’m sort of scared because I only notice that I was being dumped(sort of) after a long wait.

To tell the truth we nvr actually coupled but he knows that I had feelings for him but he said (I don’t know if it’s true cos someone else told me and not himself) that he wanted to study first and to hv a couple would interrupt his studies(while in school) .I was very2 young and dumb.I nvr knew that he was not interested in me until after 5-6 years later that I realized that he nvr did like me.I remember I cried so hard one night that I promised myself ,I will nvr like him ever again.I did.I did forget my feelings towards him after that night.It sounds like a lie but it did work. The feelings I had towards him ..the fondness of me looking at him everytime he passes by, glancing at him and finding him in a large crowd of people ended in a glimpse of an eye.I surprised myself.I nvr knew I would forget him but I did.

The sad part about him was that I actually waited for him.I waited for him to either call or text me or even come to me.I have waited for 5-6 long years but…sigh!

Emak always told me that he does look at me whenever there are gatherings now and then but I nvr believed in it. He nvr liked me and that I can assure you ,so why must he look at me right?I ‘m just sad that he could just actually told me before that he was not interested in me.I could have understood and I wouldn’t hv waited for him.

This is just some bad old history I carry with me.It’s not a burden tho.It’s just something I may not forget easily. I will nvr forget that I actually waited..that’s all.

Everyone has problems.Why do you like to read of what I’ve written?I’m just expressing myself.Why can’t I express this to my friends?Why sometimes stupid feelings that I feel in myself hurts so badly?Why?Do I not have faith in HIM?Am I lost?

Sometimes I feel I’m losing my friends one by one slowly.I need attention.

Am I having my pms?I’m emotionally sick,i guess!.

People who have problems escape by using drugs,alcohol or even by smoking.I escape mostly only by eating I guess.I eat more when I’m stressed.I lack friends who really understand me.I am a person who speaks my mind.I talk on what I feel.I am sort of an honest person.People don’t really like honest person like me.It’s because they can’t take the truth tht I speak to them.That’s also the reason why most of my friends dislike to befriend me.Well, I’m just assuming this.Maybe I’m too bossy or maybe I don’t take people’s point of view…hmm??naa..i do take people’s point of view..i am very sure of tht,no doubt bout it ..hahah

Aniwae, I just saw a movie of KAMI..i like that movie very much .It’s about teenagers’ life.How they would not share any problems with their family or friends.In that movie they didn’t share their probs not until the movie almost ended.It’s a hard life to live in if u keep all ur probs to urself.That is when all of the escape turns out to be drugs,alcohol cigarettes and other crazy stuff …some may even commit suicide..CRAZY!!

Am I lost?

Come to think of it….I am not lost.I just overreact I guess.The important thing about life is from what I believe is that we should nvr forget GOD.I have him all my life.Why should I be afraid if anything falls on me?Why should I be scared if problems come tumble upon me?why should I ?hahahaha…I’m not bragging or saying tht I hv the power or shit but I’m just grateful that I hv HIM.I love HIM and I should not be afraid if anything happens.I should not and I refuse too.

It is sometimes awkward to write here in this blog because some people who knows us might read this but I need to make some confession and I need to express it.I like someone.There!i’ve said it.hahaha..Maybe he likes me too but I hv no idea.Maybe it’s just me.I think I want to let this feelings go because I’m scared to be the 1st one to say ‘I like u’.My last experience told me not to start 1st.What ever I do I don’t think I will be the 1st to say those 3 words..not ‘I love u’ but ‘ I like u’..i need to go to the 1st phase 1st in order to go further ok?hahaha…

I know my post today has no link to each paragraph.It’s just random stuff that I feel as I type it out.I hope u don’t mind.

p/s:to anyone who are close to me and if ur reading this.Pls don’t ask who is that guy that I like.He doesn’t even know that I like him ok so leave it be and don’t make a big fuss out of this pls!!!!i wrote it here just to express myself ok?!! I appreciate it a lot.Thnks.

Friday, 2 October 2009

lalalaa~

What i did today?hmm...i went to my only class party which the idea came from me.heheh!

We hv been in the same class for almost 3 years but nvr did any class trip or what so ever.Most peeps in my class do not want to commit and not go back home for the weekends.Well, sadly most of them are indifferent.Frankly speaking i am a person who likes to go bck to my hometown or my aunt's home in Shah Alam almost every weekend too. Well,to be honest some time for the class is something i call precious.It's not like we're doing it every weekends.I can come n hold myself from going home ,y can't they??Well,enough of nagging i'm just happy that the class party went well just now at around 12pm-6pm at Kam's house,one of my classmate.

Not everyone came as expected but that did not stop us.The food,drinks ,games and laughs were GOOD!So y bother about other probs,rite?hahha...

I had fun and lots of pics were taken.I'll try n grab the pics from everyone who came for the party on this coming Monday during class.*wink*

~~~

I feel so bored tonight.I tot of chatting with Ajoe but he's either ignoring me ,bz playing games or he has something to do.I think if waste more time now,i just might as well find some info my proposal draft.I hv to show my 1st draft earlier to my lect but i didn't cos i was playing during 'RAya' rmmbr?hahhaha...

Anyhoo,i think i better strt finding now~O!O!I'm not going home this week and maybe next week as well.Not sure about next week tho' but i think it's a big chance i won't be home.Let's wait n c okay?!hahahha...

OUT~

JUSt awhile ago!

D disappoint me.

It's only a game for GOD sake!

I think i've made a mistake in liking him.

U think?

*sigh*

When will i....or will i not tell?

I've booked this room!

This happened yesterday!I was having a class with one of my lect A and suddenly Lect B came in .She told us that the room was booked by her for the whole semester and asked us to leave that instant.I was like what a rude person she is.She does look very innocent and naive but looks can be very deceiving.Don't get fooled by it.I have learnt that not everyone who has the kind face do kind things and not all people who looks bad do bad things.

In that situation,we had to leave the room.I looked at LEct b's face and she can still smiled at me.I was disgusted.I have always knew who is at the true side so i was not that shocked when it happened yesterday but my classmates who nvr tot that LEct b was as rude as that have now believe the stories on LEct A was all a lie.They now know who is the real witch.

I can't really do anything to help LEct A.If i entertain both Lecturers than my studies will be at stake.Politics among lecturers and the admin is very sick.I hate it.Alot of ppl who want power may do anything in order to achieve their goal.I hate ppl who are like that.They can even cheat,lie or jeopardise ppl's career just for the sake of themselves.

I hope all turns out well.

this gonna be a long post!

Hi,haven't been updating my post lately.I'm so sorry. It was Eid MUbarak and i was basically busy celebrating with family and friends.I'll update from which where i left u okay?

I was home from 17 September until 27th September.It was fantastic a week plus holidays.We planned a non-stop outing for 2 days and an unexpected outing as well came in later.Azgar's b'day was celebrated as well eventho' not all of us but we did made him look very 'white' indeed.heheh!I elaborate on that soon.

Firstly,we thought of going for bwoling on the 2nd day of raya which was on the 21st of Sept but we found out that we had to pay double because it was a public holiday so we made a slight adjustment and went 'raya' instead to our beloved 'sedara' houses and go bowling the next day.

Guess how many houses we went to?

1?
2?
5?
10?

NOPE!All wrong.We went to 17 houses in just 1 day.heheh!Crazy right?U might ask to urself,'Is this girl for real??'

Yes ppl!!!17 houses.I'm not lying.Well,it's sorta my gang's tradition to go 'raya' to as many houses of our relatives in just 1 or 2 days but we wanted to go for bowling the next day so we decided to go 'raya' for just a day.(^__^)

Then,on the next day which was on the 22nd Sept we went for bowling AND karaoke!2 games where jenal won as usual n karaoke for 2 hours and 45 minutes which i think was also a crazy thing.hahahha....

Well,err...we didn't really karaoke that day.It's more to a choir because all of them sing as the same time.hahahha..unless they were to told to keep quiet while someone sing that is...hahah!

Well,it was nice.I had alot of fun and it was great memory cherished forever.We took lots of photos together of course.I've uploaded it on FB.I'm lazy to upload it here because it's so freaking slow here n the it's not systematic.It takes up too much time.

Well, gone bowling and karaoke were on the 2 day of our outing.We didn't plan anything after that.I thought that was it and I thought to myself that i can go back to my studying but ppl let me tell u...I can only think of playing around when i'm home and when it is a RAYA season!!

OMG!Who in the world would not play around and do their h/work or assgments or duties during raya?WEll,i know there are ppl who do but it's so sick not to have fun during the festive season.GEt a break sometime.I thought to myself too that i did alot of work and burning the midnight oil in uni so i decided to have fun most of the time during the holidays.In that,i decided for the 3rd day outing which i planned it at the last minute.

It was 23rd Sept and it was my sedara/friend/close pal birthday!It was Azgar's birthday.I wanted to make a surprise for him and so i msged the ppl who went out with me for the 1st n 2nd day outings.Only a few can make but it still did happened.I even asked his mommy's permission.You c,Azgar is working and what so happens is that he is working with his parents in a restaurant.I had to get the permission in order to get the surprise going smoothly.

DO you think Azgar's mommy allowed it?

Of cause she did.hahahha!She really did gave me the greenlight to go on with my intention or should i say our intention to make it happen.Well,i went and fetched all of the ones who could make and i drove like there was no tomorrw.hahha...U ask me y?It's because i had to rush if not i was afraid that Azgar's mommy would close the shop before i got there.When to buy a simple cake and packed with some flour from home,we went to charge in.hehe!

The best part was that we had to act first when we reached the shop.We had to leave the cake for while in the car.Azgar was eating and we don't want to throw the four to him when he was eating.So,we waited for awhile.

Azgar asked me where i wana go after i dropped by there.I was blur.I never tot that he would asked.I lied and said that i'll be going to the mall later to do some shopping.hahha...Then ,when he's done eating i asked the flour from my other friend who kept it fro me in his bag.Azgar did not suspected anything.We did a good job ,huh?heheh!

Then ,*PLOOF*...(the flour is on him)

I did it!hehhe!Sorry AZgar!HAppy 20th Birthday dear!!

Later,cut the cake and took pics ..we ate and we left to meet Ajoe at Jenal's house.We thought of playing a prank on him since he was suppose to be there at the surprise but he couldn't make it due to some technical prob..bla3!!

Azgar gave some barlie powder to throw to Ajoe but Rafiie,the person in charge of it failed.Ajoe was too high thn Rafie to reach and throw the powder on.hahaha..

Well,it's ok..Ajoe can't follow us on the 2 days outing and that moment was the only time we had to be together and went out.This was the unplanned situation.Ajoe asked me to take him anywhere like 'jalan2'.He is leaving from Ktn to kl that day so we came to a decision to visit the beach.hehe!NIce ,huh?

Layli suggested Batu itam ,a beach area along the Beserah Road to Cherating.We agreed and waited for Ajoe and the boys to go and get some cendol before we proceed to the beach.

Later,we reached there and it was a great moment.I loved it.Well,besides from the sharp edges stones that we stepped on ...other thn that was fabulous.I love it!It's been a few months since i went to the beach.Ajoe siap bli kropok lekor tuu..hahha...

AS usual,the only great activity to do at the beach that is if ur are not doing a picnic or bathing at the beach is CAmwhore.We took pics .hahha..Quite a number of 'em.huhu..Some of the pics was beautifil!Those pics are in FB as well.We u hv me as your friend go and check out under 'Raye~(^__^)! album..

Then,it did not ended there.Ajoe asked to go for a drink.NAk lpk jab r...He asked us for which was the nearest place to go to.Then ,Azgar called up that he wanted to join us ,so we went and fetched us.O!O!We went with 2 cars.Ajoe's and mine.We went to Azgar's house that very same day and it was 6 something when we reached his house.We came in and drank some soft drinks that they offered us.I told them that we are going out for a drink and the twins,Agar's sister (1 of them ) said that the one out is not free like the 1 they were offering so it's no harm to drink a glass .hahah!Yea,she was right.

Later,we went to Fico cafe.Well,after that we parted,sent all of the mmbers home and Ajo and i parted when i was on my way home and he stopped to fill gas for his car.That very night,we met again when he was leaving for Kl because Jenal asked me to send him to the Bus Terminal .He needs to leave for Sg.Ajoe can't send him because his father and family wanted to leave for Kl at the same time as well.

Yea,i guess that is all that we did during Raya TOGETHER!I had a lot of fun.(^__^)

I think i'll make another post.This is too long ady it seems!huhuhu...