note:i wrote this last few months but i didn't had the guts to post it out.Now,the time is right i gues..huhu...
Warning:THIS IS A VERY LONG POST!
Everyone has problems. It’s just how it is whether it’s not really bad or it’s the worse that we have .People go tru it each day of their lifes .Some are stuck with it all their lifes thinking how to break free but they just can’t seem to unlock the lock that has no keys to it.
People keep secrets because they are worried if the person they care might worry for them or maybe misunderstood….or maybe they are embarrassed with what they have done.
Not everything we can tell to our friends or family members .No matter how hard we try it just won’t slip out from our mouth .How life sometimes can be very complicated, huh? haha…
People will die when ever their time comes. Imagine the person you like dies tomorrow and you wouldn’t have the chance to tell him or her that you like them….What would you do ?How would you react if he or she did die tomorrow?Would you regret not telling them that you like them?Would you?i would but never had the guts to tell a guy tht I like him ever since the last person I tend to like sorta dumped me.
Sigh!
I can’t seem to get the words out when I wanna tell someone I like that I really do like him.I’m sort of scared because I only notice that I was being dumped(sort of) after a long wait.
To tell the truth we nvr actually coupled but he knows that I had feelings for him but he said (I don’t know if it’s true cos someone else told me and not himself) that he wanted to study first and to hv a couple would interrupt his studies(while in school) .I was very2 young and dumb.I nvr knew that he was not interested in me until after 5-6 years later that I realized that he nvr did like me.I remember I cried so hard one night that I promised myself ,I will nvr like him ever again.I did.I did forget my feelings towards him after that night.It sounds like a lie but it did work. The feelings I had towards him ..the fondness of me looking at him everytime he passes by, glancing at him and finding him in a large crowd of people ended in a glimpse of an eye.I surprised myself.I nvr knew I would forget him but I did.
The sad part about him was that I actually waited for him.I waited for him to either call or text me or even come to me.I have waited for 5-6 long years but…sigh!
Emak always told me that he does look at me whenever there are gatherings now and then but I nvr believed in it. He nvr liked me and that I can assure you ,so why must he look at me right?I ‘m just sad that he could just actually told me before that he was not interested in me.I could have understood and I wouldn’t hv waited for him.
This is just some bad old history I carry with me.It’s not a burden tho.It’s just something I may not forget easily. I will nvr forget that I actually waited..that’s all.
Everyone has problems.Why do you like to read of what I’ve written?I’m just expressing myself.Why can’t I express this to my friends?Why sometimes stupid feelings that I feel in myself hurts so badly?Why?Do I not have faith in HIM?Am I lost?
Sometimes I feel I’m losing my friends one by one slowly.I need attention.
Am I having my pms?I’m emotionally sick,i guess!.
People who have problems escape by using drugs,alcohol or even by smoking.I escape mostly only by eating I guess.I eat more when I’m stressed.I lack friends who really understand me.I am a person who speaks my mind.I talk on what I feel.I am sort of an honest person.People don’t really like honest person like me.It’s because they can’t take the truth tht I speak to them.That’s also the reason why most of my friends dislike to befriend me.Well, I’m just assuming this.Maybe I’m too bossy or maybe I don’t take people’s point of view…hmm??naa..i do take people’s point of view..i am very sure of tht,no doubt bout it ..hahah
Aniwae, I just saw a movie of KAMI..i like that movie very much .It’s about teenagers’ life.How they would not share any problems with their family or friends.In that movie they didn’t share their probs not until the movie almost ended.It’s a hard life to live in if u keep all ur probs to urself.That is when all of the escape turns out to be drugs,alcohol cigarettes and other crazy stuff …some may even commit suicide..CRAZY!!
Am I lost?
Come to think of it….I am not lost.I just overreact I guess.The important thing about life is from what I believe is that we should nvr forget GOD.I have him all my life.Why should I be afraid if anything falls on me?Why should I be scared if problems come tumble upon me?why should I ?hahahaha…I’m not bragging or saying tht I hv the power or shit but I’m just grateful that I hv HIM.I love HIM and I should not be afraid if anything happens.I should not and I refuse too.
It is sometimes awkward to write here in this blog because some people who knows us might read this but I need to make some confession and I need to express it.I like someone.There!i’ve said it.hahaha..Maybe he likes me too but I hv no idea.Maybe it’s just me.I think I want to let this feelings go because I’m scared to be the 1st one to say ‘I like u’.My last experience told me not to start 1st.What ever I do I don’t think I will be the 1st to say those 3 words..not ‘I love u’ but ‘ I like u’..i need to go to the 1st phase 1st in order to go further ok?hahaha…
I know my post today has no link to each paragraph.It’s just random stuff that I feel as I type it out.I hope u don’t mind.
p/s:to anyone who are close to me and if ur reading this.Pls don’t ask who is that guy that I like.He doesn’t even know that I like him ok so leave it be and don’t make a big fuss out of this pls!!!!i wrote it here just to express myself ok?!! I appreciate it a lot.Thnks.
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