story telling time..

another day or should i say morning because it's 1.32am again..scary how yesterday morning i looked at the time it aslo showed 1.32am..pergh!scary!hehe...

anyhoo!another morning with another story to tell..

i was supposed to study but i slept.sigh!i slept at 10pm something just a while ago and now i don't think i can go to sleep.I think that's a good thing because i can study now.hehe..Hopefully what i study will be stored up into my brain permanently..hehe...

i am about to tell a complicated thing to u..so if u don't like complicated-ness..pls don't continue reading ok?

so i guess u like complicated-ness,that's why you proceed with my post for today..(^__^)..well,it's your choice.

let me ask u something.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you just can only sigh and cry quietly when you can't get hold of what you wanted?

i did.

i don't always hv this cravings .I am the type tht would always get what i want.Not saying that i'm the whiny and princess type.It's just that,if i really wanted something i'll save up my money or something and buy it.Yea,another factor is also because i'm the only daugther and also the youngest..i tend to get whatever i desire.If the thing does not make any sense in my parents' mind then of causei would not get it.Pls be sensible k?

x kan la if i want a rifle thn my parents gonna allow it..sigh!(-__-")

back to the story...

i had a craving over something at one moment..i want it so bad that i imagined that i was holding it,wearing it..(it's a thing ok..nothing fancy or porn..just something that comes from fabric,so don't go imagining stuff..haha)

i remembered i was in the bus and i thought of how i would looked if i wore it..BUT it didn't happen.I was speechless.The only thing i could do at that time was take a long deep breathe and my tear drops started to fall from my eyes which i can't hold much longer.I was so.....sigh!

how i wanted it so badly.well,it's ok.I know that not everything that we want will always be ours.i believed that there's always a reason for it.No matter what we want in life either materials or prosperity burger or the happiness of life..haha..we may have it and may not have it..

All my life i have been a very happy go lucky person.I tend to keep it that way.I know i'm very emotional.I can change my mood at any time BUT i'm not crazy okay?!hahahaha...

This is just the way i am.I can be angry and happy later in just 5 minutes.I don't like to be angry for so long.So don't simply judge me.Get to know be better then u can judge me.I don't mind.

Lately i had the fight of my life(so called)..that is when i thought to myself...'should i always concern on to others if they don't concern on me?','should i care about ppl's life if they didn't care less about me?','should i be there for them when they are in trouble when the only thing they remmbr about me is bossing them around but instead i was always there when they needed me?'....should i?

after that,i decided to be blur...the only thing matters now is HIM,my family and the really close ones....i have shut down all my 'concern' on to others perception of life.I only give my help to the ones who really seeks it from me.I won't go to you and ask you what has gone wrong questions anymore.I have learnt my lesson.

Being blur is much more better.You don't have to think about other ppl's prob,you don't have to rmmbr so much about ppl's matter or birthday*(eventhough i do..it's like fixed in my brain..haha),you don't have to make your life miserable and so much more.I do have to admit that being blur also has the disadvantages.hehe..like most things do.The disadvantages are that you don't really get ppl to come to you.Ppl c u so blur that they think you're boring.

I am blur but i don't do boring.I just act blur but i'm a joker inside..hehe..so don't judge,get to know then only judge.

**enough complicated-ness for today?haha..i told you it would be a complicated.

i just feel like typing whatever i feel like typing tonite..it's 2.14am now and still blogging.hehe..

okay to those who want to stop i bet you can stop now.I wanna write some more.

well, i guess you like my story?haha..ok,i have to confess that i am a straight forward person.I say what i feel.I used to be.Now,i try to keep it inside.I lose my friends because i'm a sharp tongue.They thing i'm there to boss them around.i did it because i want them to be better in waht so ever.Well, i lost most of my friends because of my thoughts and my big mouth.Emak said i don't have to advise anyone ,what for?do they listen to you?do they take your advise?so dear don't waste your time worrying about ppl's prob.Worry about urs and ur future.And also HIM.That's the most important thing.

i also hv to agree with what Emak told me.She is always right.No one did listen to me unless K.lina.No one did took my advise.No one did appreciate me for what i did unless k.lina.No one.I'm not asking for a big thing.I'm just asking to be someone who i need when i'm in trouble.Maybe i'm a self-centred person who always think of myself.Well, i don't know because there is no one who would point it out to me.I only know that i am a very straight forward person that hurts ppl's feelings.hahaha....that's y i decided to be blur.

Not much to think.

**enough already?hahaha..u made it this far n read everything that i wrote..Congratulation!
Well,this is just what i feel for now.Who knows..i might be so much better later in future..maybe more cheerful then now..i really hope so!*cross fingers*

gotta go back to reality and study.BUbye fantasy blog..haha..*waving goodbye*

it's 2.32am..an hour after 1.32am...scary!