High~

Currently,i am feeling so high!High in caffein that is..hahahha....

I drank Neslo just awhile ago.I am sorta addicted to it.I'm trying to control it and I dont' wanna get stuck to it.

Okay,i'm about to get very emo.Really emo~

I saw a part of today's grey anatomy's episode.I'm not a follower of that series but i like to watch it eventhough i usually missed it.I don't really know when it's aired on tv and plus i don't hv AStro .I saw it on Nt7 just a while ago ..heh!

In this episode,there was a patient who died during surgery and one of the doctor (whose name i can't recall) cried because she re-build the patient's bones but the patient died because of a heart failure.She was so sad that the patient died ,maybe she cried because she did her work too hard that it's too much for her to bare that the patient really died.Well,maybe~

I want to realease my sadness that i know i've been keeping in myself but it seems like i can't.I have no idea y..

Lately,i come to notice that i am not really close with my brothers.Each and everyone have their own families.We sorta grew apart.Is this y i'm feeling down?Is this the reason?

I,myself don't really know myself sometimes,what do i really feel inside especially.Why do i say so?It's because there are once or twice that i tend to cry heavily over some things that are stupidly simple.

Maybe i lack friends who i can really share what i feel.I don't share with Emak so often now like i used too.Maybe i just don't want to burden her.Maybe it's just not a story i want to elaborate further with my Emak.Maybe my 1 close friend don't always understand what i feel.So ,there is no use of telling her anyways.*sigh!*

Emak told me to ask that person who once said 'JGN GANGGU HIDUP AKU' to me to the picnic this sunday that i organise for close realtives and friends.I don't like of asking her.It's not like i'm holding grudges against her but i don't want to be aorund her anymore.Why?

It's because once i put those words she said behind me,i'll get into her life once again.I'll go nose around in her life which she doesn't like me to be doing.I'm that kind of person.Once i forget,i'll do the things that i'm not suppose to do all over again and get myself hurt all over again.I will never learn.That is why the best way is not to be around her.