I will.

I'll try to make this post as short as I possibly can. :D

I just had a quarrel with Emak just now.

I'm in my room currently calming myself down. I decided to write this, so that in a way I could release my tension.

The quarrel was about my big bro story of life and bla. bla. bla. bla~! Okay, you get me? Nice!

. . . as a mother, Emak just wanted to remind me of the up and downs of life; so to speak. The lacking part of it is that the story keeps reminding me of the person that has caused it to happen. Who? Why? How? When? Everything that regards to that person just gives me nauseous to the tummy just by thinking about her. I hate it! I hate that feeling in my heart, my mind and my brains. I understand that Emak wanted to share the story with me but I just can't bare the negative side of it. I made her upset and I got myself upset too. Sorry Emak. I know~~ I'll go to her later to ask her for forgiveness.

I do understand that there are loads of unknowingly stories of life that I must learn now and in future, trust me I know. It just gets to me sometimes. It makes me feel angry just by thinking of negative mediums after having to learn about it. I totally disagree with negative thoughts. I would rather let it flow away then listening into it. Grasping the lesson once is enough and you don't really have to remind me again and again. I humbly do appreciate it and I don't intend in being arrogant by saying,' I already know that. So, don't remind me or tell me that story again!' No, I don't mean it that way. I just can't handle the sad and grieve of broken pieces caused by certain people like what had happened to my big brother. Reminding me of what had happened for me is like a kid who is scared and forced to watch a ghost story over and over again.

Repeating the story of that person just kills me inside bit by bit. I just refuse to listen to it, anymore.

I can't handle sad stories that well. Death, divorce, separations, break ups etc. You name it but I survived most of the time and every time I did, GOD is there with me. The ONE I love, I long, I trust and I would go the distance for, with HIS permission; I WILL! :D

P/s: I don't hate that person that caused all the commotion in my brother's life. I'm not in her position tapi minta jauh laa dari aku menjadi seperti dia. Amin. Syukur!