What the FUCK is happening to me? (please excuse my language) I can't take this anymore. I feel so...so...depress! Dear GOD, I'm so sorry for being this way. I can't bare this burden for any longer. I feel like giving up and just seat at home and do nothing.
I think the old sadness that i've kept way bottom of my mind has come to haunt me down. I've kept this feeling too long that it makes me so sick whenever i think about it. House and now car!
I know i've said that it's ok that it's just things and i'm grateful that i still have my parents, i know i did say that but sometimes when things that belongs to us are taken away; it will somehow makes you feel sad. When that house incident happened i kept it way back and i pushed my sadness away. Now, it happened again. That feeling returned to me. I'm like....lost. What happened to me dear GOD? I'm so sorry for acting this way. I can't hold it in for too long no more. I kept crying everyday when i'm in my room. No one to talk to except you dear GOD.
This pain is nothing compared to others who have lost everything in their life, believe me i know i'm just overreacting on this but i just can't hold this tears from coming out of my eyes.
Why is it that i'm afraid to do things that i'm supposed to do? Why is it that i feel like i'm useless?
Why is it that i'm so lazy to do things that i'm destined to do?Why? I really got to stand up and face my most dangerous enemy who is myself! I'm holding myself back from doing the right thing. I'm the one who thinks that i can't and no one else. I'm the one who thinks friends are everything and not you dear GOD. Please forgive me for being so selfish. I'm grateful that i still have my parents and i'm still am. Things such as cars or houses are nothing without them. I still can live without any friends around me.
No one is perfect and nothing is forever. Even the closest thing or person around you. Initially, i refused to believe it but now faith has told me the truth and i have nothing but to believe in it.
I believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason is always from you and i have nothing to be afraid of but you dear GOD! Syukur~
Wake up Reena! Stop sighing!Stop crying!Stop hiding! Stop doing things you're not supposed to do!
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