My so called love story & life?

When you know that you're not going to be with that person you love, you don't seem to be able to accept the fact that you're not meant for each other. I love him so much but I know that he's not mine. It does hurt but GOD knows better and HE holds the future. It is sad for me. It is unbearable but it's for the best. I may not know what future holds for me but I do know that I have faith in GOD. I'm just sad that I am deeply in love with him but I can't be with him. It's just weird because I can be myself around him. He accepts me for who I am. I tried that with some other men but I don't feel that similar chemistry when I am with him. I can talk bubbly, laugh out loud and just go crazy when I am with him. It is also odd how that can happen. We can be silent and simultaneously be all fine with it. He comes into mind where ever I go, what ever I do and when ever it is.

I'm 25 years old and I don't feel like I'm a woman yet but I am. Some single girl friends of mine are so obsessed that at this age most of their friends are either engaged or married. I don't seem to care about it. I'm still going out late at night and still chilling. He used to tell me that he hated me going out so late at night. That gave me the sign that he cared for me. Perhaps love me too. Some men can't say that they love their woman because of their big EGO in their mind. I don't blame them or him. I understand that some people are brought up in families that don't say 'I love you' to their children much and that results to women or men like him, a person that doesn't expose their love to other people through words but through actions.

I am a Pisces and I've read that my compatible soul mate is a person with a horoscope of Cancer written all over him BUT that's all in the readings of horoscopes. GOD the Almighty has the answers to our life not the horoscope. Yet all in all, it's a great way to know people's behaviour when you know their horoscope sign. *wink*

This few passing days, I feel like I need to go for runs. I want to run until my heart beats so fast that it makes my adrenaline rise so rapidly that it makes me race to breath heavily and catch my breathe. Sometimes I just don't know what I want anymore. I have to get my mind straight. What are my goals besides making my parents feel happy and be fulfilled? I. . . .feel like I'm running out of time.

. . . .about my love for him, don't worry. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm not going to commit suicide and trouble parents besides, I'm too smart for that. =D I know I have to move on whether I like it or not. Well, I'm slowly getting there. Perhaps, I would text him sometimes just to catch up as friends but other then that I've gradually slowed down from contacting him. Perhaps a 'yay' for me? =)

Where will this leads to? I mean, my love story; where will it leads to. . . .to be frank, only GOD knows.